Biography + Obituary + Eulogy = biobiteulogy for Judith/Mom/Cara

Intro: There were so many different Judiths that each one of us knew. There is Judy the big sister and Judith the mom; Judith the mother-in-law, and Judith aka Cara, the grandmother; Judith the teacher and Judith the counselor; Judith the patient and Judith the businesswoman; Judith the world traveler and Judith the lover of home; Judith the church group leader and Judith the questioner. I hope, as we read this, you recognize the Judith that you knew and loved in our words. 

On May 5th, 2024, cherished by her children and grandchildren, siblings, and countless extended family and friends, Judith Maisey passed away at the age of 84. She is deeply missed. 

After she crossed, she was joyfully greeted by her parents, her brother Mark Edward, her nephew Christopher Michael, her granddaughter Rowan Grace, and her great granddaughter Briella Noelle. 

Judith Ray Mewshaw made her grand entrance on November 14th, 1939, to  parents Geraldine Margaret Ray and Charles Thomas Mewshaw. She was the answer to her parents’ prayers to Saint Jude, and so was given her name.  

Her early childhood was spent as her mother’s traveling companion; they crisscrossed the U.S. by train from East Coast to West and back again while her father was away for the war. Following his return, she became the proud sister of 5 siblings born between her 7th and 13th birthdays. 

By the end of 3rd grade, Judith attended 10 schools-  and by the time she graduated from high school in Galveston, TX, she had attended a grand total of 16. Her happiest childhood memories were her middle grade years when she lived in Germany. She loved sharing her many stories about the freedom she had in those days, and how joyful she felt wandering the mountainsides of Stuttgart. 

At 17, Judith moved with her family to Oahu and began studying Psychology at the University of Hawai’i. She fell in love with the beauty of the islands, the culture of the people, and with Terry Mercer Maisey, who she married in 1959 - the same year Hawai’i gained its statehood. They finished their schooling at the University of New Hampshire, where Terry was commissioned as an officer in the Air Force. They lived in 10 different homes together and had 5 beautiful children.   

The firstborn, Mary, joined the family while Judith was finishing her college degree, and oh how their friends loved to play with the baby!  Michael, the one and only boy, was already on the way when Judith graduated summa cum laude, and he made his entrance after they moved to Shaw AFB. Melissa declared herself a South Carolina southern belle, Michele was the yellow rose of Texas, and Melanie completed the family as a baby Brit, a feat which necessitated Judith’s first helicopter ride.  

Judith was incredible at running a household. She managed loads of laundry, mountains of mending, tireless tidying, and endless financial finagling. When her green clothbound budget journal came out, her kids knew to make themselves scarce! Even with all of this, she found the time to create coordinating outfits for her kids, complete with hats and gloves for the girls and a tie for Michael – which were perfect for either 8 hour transatlantic flights or Gilbert & Sullivan musicals. 

When Judith went back to school for her Master’s Degree she was 34 years old and a mother of 5, ages 14 and under. She subjected her kids to IQ tests (they were all geniuses - naturally), personality tests, values clarification exercises, taught them to use I messages when communicating their feelings, and countless other self-awareness tools. They may have rolled their eyes at the time, but those have proven to be hugely impactful skills, invaluable throughout their various careers and relationships.

When she took on her first professional role as a counselor and advisor at Mississippi County Community College in Arkansas, she saved her paychecks to purchase the second brand new vehicle of her life -  a 12 passenger van. This was a joyful milestone, as there was ample room for all the kids and their friends!

Her work as a counselor was both challenging and fulfilling, no matter where she was – Arkansas, South Dakota, Texas, or here in Maryland. At Catonsville Community College, now known as CCBC Catonsville, She built a study and life skills course for all entering freshmen. She served on faculty boards, presented at national conferences, advised and counseled students of all cultures, races, and walks of life. She deeply enjoyed the diversity and knew she made a difference. Just before her 3rd oral cancer diagnosis, she retired and was granted Professor Emeritus status, one of her proudest career moments. She continued to don her academic regalia, which she loved, and participated in graduations for years - a testament to her enduring love for her students and for education.

As the years went on, Judith was a devoted presence at her children’s and grandchildren’s activities. Whether cheering from the sidelines at football, rugby, soccer, and cheerleading events, or supporting rock climbing endeavors, she was always there. She listened as novice musicians honed their skills, attended every night of their plays and musicals, and proudly watched her young adults defend their learning. Judith's beaming smile was a constant at concerts and graduations, embodying her unwavering support and love.

Judith’s life was immeasurably enriched by her grandchildren, both blood and chosen. They provided her with countless reasons to travel, track and celebrate. As ‘Cara’, her chosen grandmother name, she reveled in their life paths, interests, and accomplishments, and delighted in sharing their stories with any and all! 

Ever the poised and style-conscious woman, she was known for putting on her makeup at a picnic table while camping or while working sag services during CANDISC bicycle tours. She offered advice on the ideal amounts of lipstick or blush to use for all occasions, and took great pleasure in curating the perfect outfit for every event. She especially loved formal nights, whether on cruises or visits to the symphony. The fancy dress occasions on her many cruises were among her favorites, as she delighted in adorning herself and others with jewelry and formal wear. 

Judith had a deep love for music, for dancing, and for words. She danced with her father, her children, and her grandchildren. She sang lullabies and jazz standards. She wrote eloquently and frequently- her handwritten cards were a bedrock for each of us, as tangible as a hug. She also loved giving gifts. Her many trips always included bringing back souvenirs for loved ones and friends. 

She brought beauty to her environment in every situation. Her door was always clad in seasonal decor, her hotel rooms and cruise cabins draped with scarves and family photos, and her home was her ever changing canvas to showcase the seasons, the holidays, and the people and places she loved. 

Judith loved games of all sorts - particularly the winning variety. She was quite the card shark! She could laugh at herself, and when she got tickled, her laughter was infectious. All around would dissolve into giggles as we watched her trying to catch her breath with tears running down her cheeks…  forcing her – of course – to retrieve a Kleenex with which to blow her nose. She was never without a Kleenex—whether tucked up her sleeve, in her purse, or under her pillow— always ready to use or share.

Judith would often push back and question new ideas or suggestions on ways to do things, but she was usually open to thoughtful discussion. She enjoyed exploring different perspectives and frequently worked through her thoughts out loud. With time and patience, she was generally willing to reconsider and find common ground. 

Judith could take constructive criticism, and with gentle reminders, she could make changes over time. She herself was an open book and was also deeply empathetic. As such, she had a keen awareness of everyone’s affairs and was known for sharing what she knew. If you were out of the loop or wondering what others were up to, all you had to do was call her! Judith loved sharing the stories she knew about the people in her life, always with a genuine intention to keep connections strong and to celebrate those she cared about.

Judith endured radical reorientations and challenges, caused by frequent moves, illness, divorce, and the deaths of people she loved. And yet, she began again and again – from making homes, building careers and creating connections in numerous places, to rising up to overcome multiple bouts of cancer and other illnesses with resilience. Judith not only survived, she triumphed, using her experiences to guide and support others facing similar difficulties.

Judith had the remarkable ability to connect with everyone she met,  making each person feel truly seen. She was intentional in her relationships – Whether giving cash or a simple chocolate to a parking attendant, instacart deliverer, or a homeless person, she always took the time to learn their names and used it when offering her kindnesses.  

She brought so many under her loving wings – from clients and friends to airline attendants and taxi drivers (one of whom actually proposed to her in NYC!) She generously shared her time, her stories, her financial support, and her expertise, regardless of whether it had been sought. Her nurturing spirit touched everyone she encountered. 

She was a hugger and gave herself fully to cuddling her babies and her grands, doting on her pets and her sibs, appreciating her friends and her neighbors. She didn’t stop hugging even during Covid – she just wrapped whoever she was hugging in a full sized sheet! Towards the end of her life, she would jokingly refer to her cell phone and her ipad as her loveys because they made it possible for her to keep in touch and participate. 

Judith was a true people person. She loved her family fiercely – nuclear, extended, and chosen. She was at her happiest when in the midst of ‘her people’. This deep connection leads us to believe that she will never be far from us … her people. Her impact will remain with us always. 

She was, and is, unforgettable.